THE SIX PHASES OF A PROJECT

[Karan]:  They say - whoever "they" are - that there are six phases to a project, and as we're only 16 days away from our Big Birthday Bash to celebrate 18 years of trading, I'm beginning to agree.  I had not heard of the Six Phases before last week, when one of our Twitter Followers was kind enough to send a Tweet listing them, but I'm amused to see the extent to which they pan out.  Here are the Six Phases of a Project:

1) ENTHUSIASM: Well, I can definitely agree with this one wholeheartedly and, in truth, Ian and I are both still hugely enthusiastic about our new kitchen showroom, and the celebrations surrounding its launch.  We're really excited about catching up with all of our VIP existing customers, some of which we perhaps haven't seen in a while, as well as meeting new people we may be able to help in the future.  Some of our VIP existing customers go way, way, WAY back to the beginnings of IKD in 1992, so it'll be our pleasure to pour them a glass of wine as we chat. 

Even though our enthusiasm is still high, that does not mean we haven't gone through deep, dark bouts of...

2) DISILLUSIONMENT: We've all been there.  You think up something exciting to do, ie: a party, a wedding, a night out with the girls/boys and it all seems like a good idea at the time.  Then things start to go awry and you start hearing yourself saying "whose bloody stupid idea was this anyway?!", only to realise it was yours!  I uttered these immortal words last weekend when Ian and I were working late - again! - putting the finishing touches to the showroom.  The odd thing didn't go according to plan and I threw my toys out of the pram demanding to know whose idea it was to open a new kitchen showroom during a Bank Holiday weekend, following weeks of school summer holidays.  Ian quietly reminded me it was, in fact, my idea.  So I shut the hell up after that and continued with what I was doing.

3) PANIC:  We're not there yet, but I do accept that we might be, the closer we get to the launch date and time.  Ian and I share the philosophy of proper preparation prevents a poor performance, and we always plan for the worst and hope for the best.  Whilst it's sometimes tempting to believe that life and/or the universe is out to get you when things go wrong, you just have to do the best you can in every given moment, as it sets you up to be in the best possible position for the next moment.  Panic is a waste of energy and thinking and reaction time - but feel free to remind me of this when and if you see me running around like my hair's on fire on the morning of the launch!

4) SEARCH FOR THE GUILTY:  If something has gone wrong, or someone hasn't fulfilled a promise, then it's probably a wiser use of energy and resources to overcome the problem.  There's always after the project to rip someone a new one!  Seemples.

5) PUNISHMENT OF THE INNOCENT:  As this is considered a humorous (?) list, I'll let this point pass as I don't agree with it at all.  It is true though, sadly.  I've seen it happen many times in previous workplaces, and it stinks.  Rest assured that IKD neither operates nor condones this crap; we prefer carrots to sticks.

6) PRAISE & HONOURS FOR THE NON-PARTICIPANTS:  How true is THIS?!  There's always someone - with very sharp elbows - pushing themselves forward for a share of the limelight - they know no shame.  Best to pity the fools, for theirs is an insecure existence, riding on the backs of the true achievers.  I once knew a woman who systematically married her way up into a life of money, global travel and success by association, discarding the spent husbands as she aged: she now attends her (current) husband's award ceremonies as though she'd been there through the early and lean years.  I often wonder who she's going to marry next.

It's therefore hugely important to us to ensure that the truly deserving receive their thanks and high praise and, in respect of the kitchen showroom opening, Ian and I are very clear about who has supported us above and beyond the call of duty; and equally, who hasn't.  I will write a Big Thank You Blog following the Big Birthday Bash so everyone can see who has been the most marvellous of eggs, how and why.  Watch this space....